"Sometimes you find your destiny on the road you took to avoid it."
~~Louis Salinger, The International
We went with friends to see the movie The International starring Clive Owen. They'd seen it already, but wanted to see it again. It's about an Interpol agent attempting to expose the IBBC, a high-profile financial institution's role in an international arms dealing ring. The tagline is:
"They control your money. They control your government.
They control your life.
And everybody pays."
It was too disturbing and bloody for my taste, even though you get to see Istanbul, Berlin, Milan and New York City. However, if you go to NYC don't plan on going to the Guggenheim, as it was completely destroyed in a shoot-out in the movie!
As I try to erase the violent images, the one key phrase of the movie sticks with me: "Sometimes you find your destiny on the road you took to avoid it."
I've been thinking a great deal about destiny lately.
Two friends from high school died within the last month and my own destiny looms large. People with my illness typically have their lives shortened by 10-15 years. And the last ten years of life can be quite painful. I try not to think about that.
Curiously my friend TravlinOma wrote about destiny on her blog today. She introduced the subject with Robert Frost's poem The Road Not Taken which I've read several times in the last month.
Many times in my life, I've felt I took the wrong road. But, usually it is less about regret and more about wondering "what if . . .". (More about the sins of omission, rather than the sins of commission.)
- What if I'd gone to Utah State like I wanted to rather than the University of Utah like my parents insisted? What if I'd continued to major in Art?
- What if I'd become a Chi Omega like I wanted instead of Kappa Kappa Gamma because I was a legacy? No consequence on this one. I ended up disliking ALL sororities.
- What if I'd gone on my mission to Taiwan rather than getting married to Bill? Would I be teaching Chinese somewhere?
- What if I'd finished my Master's Degree? Would I be teaching college?
- What if I'd stayed in the Child Development field instead of becoming a genealogist?
I've always disliked making huge decisions out of fear of chosing the wrong road. "Will I regret this later?" Often I've avoided making decisions for that very reason. The decision chooses me.
None of that matters anymore. I made my choices in life and I've learned to live with (most) of them. I try not to beat myself up too much for not taking the other road. But I've got plenty of bruises and battle scars from some of my choices!
Most of all, I think my destiny met me on the road I was taking to avoid it!